A list of the boys I dated in one year of singledom

1. The total package that I stopped talking to after one date because he was literally the worst kisser this side of the  Mississippi and all physical attraction stopped dead in its tracks.

2. The so-nice-he's-creepy guy who is also my landlord and has tried to rekindle whenever a new season rolls around. Fingers crossed he doesn't get any ideas this Fall.

3. The co-worker who I refused to spend anymore time with, not because he was my co-work but because he was a total tool.

4. The good friend who I accidentally made out with but it was a great makeout so I thought we would maybe date. Then I realized he had no interest in committing to anyone anytime soon. Then he had a new girlfriend like, a week later.

5. The one night stand. First and last. But he was so pretty.

6. The out-of-state boy who initiated communications so often we may as well have been dating. But wait, he had a girlfriend. But wait, they broke up about a month into our "communication". But wait, a month into both of us being single he decided he didn't want to commit to anything. BUT WAIT, he *started dating a teenager less than a month after that.

7. The out-of-state boy who direct messaged me on Twitter to get the ball rolling, continued texting/calling/Facetiming for four months until he came to town and didn't want to spend time together, so I promptly ignored him altogether. Three months later he's deciding to be best friends again. No.

8. The co-worker who seemed like the total package until I realized he will never love anyone as much as he loves himself. Rejection didn't go over well with that one.

9. The one that I can't get enough of who treats me better than I've ever been treated. Fingers crossed I don't fuck this one up.


*They're still together.

Nicknames My Friends have for Boys

Tom Jones
Vanilla Boy
Crash Bash
Creepy Steve
Hot Nick
Little Greg
Gatorade
Propel
Dole
Bed Boy
Josh/Jeff
Avalon Boy
Finance Friend
Baseball Boy
Bagel Boy
Muscle Man
Idiot
Amazon Kid
Bonfire Boy
Ronnie
Malta Man
Is he gay? (are you sure?)
Asshole (applies to so many!)