Since you dumped me in a text message a month ago, I shouldn't be surprised that the first time I hear form you is also via text.
"you hate me :("
The following is a list of ways I could have responded:
1. Not as much as I hate that emoticon.
2. Who is this?
3. I know you're drunk right now. If you'd like to have an actual conversation when you're sober, let me know. But I won't hold my breath because you're a coward and the chances of us ever talking about what happened are about as likely as me **having Jesse Williams' babies.
4. Hate is a strong word. I just really dislike you. (omg, so cliche)
5. Yes.
6. And?
7. I liked when you didn't talk to me. Keep doing that.
8. You're incredibly observant.
9. No, I don't. But thank you for making me a stronger person. (This one comes courtesy of my mother, who didn't realize how Christina Aguilera-y she was being.)
10. I'm busy hanging out with my dad at the concert we were supposed to attend together.
11. Also, this setlist is amazing.
Now, a list of ways I did respond:
1.
**Please God, let me have Jesse Williams' babies.
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