A list of annoying Facebook friends

1. The Political One - This guy uses his Facebook purely as a political platform. He got on his soap box and will not get off. Even if you're politically aligned with the guy, you are annoyed and sometimes even offended. His complete lack of rationality or recognition of any semi-legitimate argument from across the aisle just makes this Facebook friend seem like a radical crazy.

2. The Wanna-Be Playboy Bunny - Girl has daddy issues. Or lost 80 pounds during the summer between high school and college. Whatever the psychological excuse, I do not need to see glamour shots of you washing a car in Daisy Dukes and a-size-too-small bikini top. Good luck with your bar tending career, though.

3. The Emotional Drama Queen - I am truly sorry that your Aunt Sarah who you met twice died. I am also sorry that your boyfriend is now sleeping with someone new. I know men suck and friends can sometimes let you down and life can sometimes seem too difficult to bear, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP REMINDING ME every 5 seconds!

4. The (Sometimes International) Partier - This Facebook friend does not have a single profile picture the doesn't feature either alcohol or a promo girl at his side. And then, when you finally venture further than the insane tagged pictures in Aruba (complete with body shots), you see that this person is in medical school. And then you fear for your life and that of future generations. What is the world coming to?

5. (YOUNG) Women Pregnant with Their First Child - 36 Weeks! OMG! CaN u BeliEve iT!? This Facebook friend explains so much about everything that's wrong with everyone I've ever met.

6. Girls that Just got Engaged - Oh dear God. You're in love, you're getting married, you're planning a wedding. We get it. I do not need to see 500 pictures of your ring from every angle possible. I don't need to know when you found your dress and how many hours it is until you get to marry your best friend. I'M NOT EVEN INVITED, and, even worse, I'M COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY SINGLE AND GETTING OLDER EVERY DAY so stop rubbing it in my face. Jealousy totally aside, engaged is the new black, and you're making a huge mistake! You're only 22! You're fiance is not cute! You've halted all your former hopes and dreams to marry this kid. Marriage is supposed to be FOR-EV-ER. You're going to be having babies in a year...are you really ready for that kind of commitment? Because you definitely were not when I accepted your friend request. K, thx, bye.

7. Married Couples - Not only did I totally painstakingly critique and judge all of your wedding photos, but now I do not give a shit that today is your four year anniversary or that you have the most beautiful wife in the universe or that you miss your hubby. I just. Don't. OH - and my total favorite - the married couple with the SAME FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. Am I talking to Sally or Jimmy? I'm not sure because the Facebook account is SallyJimmy Watkins. What? Did you suddenly become Siamese twins? Because even Siamese twins have their own, individual BRAINS.

8. The Crude Facebook Friend - This guy cannot talk about anything that doesn't involve beer and titties, titties or beer. He is constantly posting "wall photos" of almost naked chicks and updating his status about sex. "I ordered 50 condoms at the pharmacy. When I heard two chicks giggling behind me, I said - 'Make that 52.'" OMG YOU'RE SO AWESOME AND HOTT, WHAT A BADASS. CAN I SLEEP WITH YOU!?! Really?! Is this guy for real!? No wonder this Facebook friend is single.


To be continued...

Things I actually learned in architecture school:

1. A human can only stay up for 48 hours without hallucinating.
2. A human can't naturally stay up past 55 hours.
3. A human can't stay up past 100 hours, naturally or otherwise.
4. If you convince people it's true, then it's true.
5. Always keep a sketchbook within arms reach. The best ideas come right before you fall asleep, when you wake up in the middle of the night and in the shower.
6. Starbucks is the most valuable tool you have. It keeps you awake, it keeps your professors happy, and its name alone turns heads and refocuses attention.
7. Do not underestimate how long you can survive off of a vending machine.
8. Showers are important.
9. Photoshop.
10. No matter how unimpressive you are, for some odd reason normal people find you impressive.

Bonus: 11. It is extremely valuable to make friends outside of architecture to make sure you stay sane.

LaYou

Things that I most appreciate my friends for doing:

1. Calling me out on my nonsense.
90% of what I have learned about being an adult I have learned by doing the wrong thing first and having a friend call me on it.
2. Making me feel like somebody
When people you know are awesome are really excited to see you and want to hang out with you, it makes you feel awesome, too.
3. Being incredibly generous
I can't count the number of times my friends have offered up their time, money or their place in the pursuit of a good time for all.
4. Setting a good example
Surrounding yourself with good people is the best way to try and become good people.
5. Helping me keep my chin up
A little humor and a smart mouth is all you need to turn even the worst night around.
6. Not being uptight
"I'll do whatever you guys want to do" is always a nice sentiment.
7. Always being willing to lend an ear or share some advice
I may not have an older brother, but a wise friend fills that role nicely.

- Dan.

How to Catch Up with Old Friends

1. Annoyingly remind them months in advance that you are planning a trip to see them.

2. Continue reminding them you are coming via:

                         a. Facebook

                         b. Text

                         c. Twitter

           ...this is important what if they made others plans!

3. Once you are finally reunited begin by talking about work and then move on to your love life (or lack there of).

4. When you've established you are both single promise each other you will go out and find new men.

5. ...eat drunk food together when you wind up home after the bar.

6. Thank them for having you by eating their food, drinking their drinks, and take over half of their bed or their couch.

7. Instagram any and all embarrassing photos of them.

8. Make them spend their weekend entertaining you- think tourist attractions they otherwise would never see.

9. BRUNCH

10. Leave them exhausted and wishing you would move to their city (this ensures you are invited back).