A list of annoying Facebook friends

1. The Political One - This guy uses his Facebook purely as a political platform. He got on his soap box and will not get off. Even if you're politically aligned with the guy, you are annoyed and sometimes even offended. His complete lack of rationality or recognition of any semi-legitimate argument from across the aisle just makes this Facebook friend seem like a radical crazy.

2. The Wanna-Be Playboy Bunny - Girl has daddy issues. Or lost 80 pounds during the summer between high school and college. Whatever the psychological excuse, I do not need to see glamour shots of you washing a car in Daisy Dukes and a-size-too-small bikini top. Good luck with your bar tending career, though.

3. The Emotional Drama Queen - I am truly sorry that your Aunt Sarah who you met twice died. I am also sorry that your boyfriend is now sleeping with someone new. I know men suck and friends can sometimes let you down and life can sometimes seem too difficult to bear, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP REMINDING ME every 5 seconds!

4. The (Sometimes International) Partier - This Facebook friend does not have a single profile picture the doesn't feature either alcohol or a promo girl at his side. And then, when you finally venture further than the insane tagged pictures in Aruba (complete with body shots), you see that this person is in medical school. And then you fear for your life and that of future generations. What is the world coming to?

5. (YOUNG) Women Pregnant with Their First Child - 36 Weeks! OMG! CaN u BeliEve iT!? This Facebook friend explains so much about everything that's wrong with everyone I've ever met.

6. Girls that Just got Engaged - Oh dear God. You're in love, you're getting married, you're planning a wedding. We get it. I do not need to see 500 pictures of your ring from every angle possible. I don't need to know when you found your dress and how many hours it is until you get to marry your best friend. I'M NOT EVEN INVITED, and, even worse, I'M COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY SINGLE AND GETTING OLDER EVERY DAY so stop rubbing it in my face. Jealousy totally aside, engaged is the new black, and you're making a huge mistake! You're only 22! You're fiance is not cute! You've halted all your former hopes and dreams to marry this kid. Marriage is supposed to be FOR-EV-ER. You're going to be having babies in a year...are you really ready for that kind of commitment? Because you definitely were not when I accepted your friend request. K, thx, bye.

7. Married Couples - Not only did I totally painstakingly critique and judge all of your wedding photos, but now I do not give a shit that today is your four year anniversary or that you have the most beautiful wife in the universe or that you miss your hubby. I just. Don't. OH - and my total favorite - the married couple with the SAME FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. Am I talking to Sally or Jimmy? I'm not sure because the Facebook account is SallyJimmy Watkins. What? Did you suddenly become Siamese twins? Because even Siamese twins have their own, individual BRAINS.

8. The Crude Facebook Friend - This guy cannot talk about anything that doesn't involve beer and titties, titties or beer. He is constantly posting "wall photos" of almost naked chicks and updating his status about sex. "I ordered 50 condoms at the pharmacy. When I heard two chicks giggling behind me, I said - 'Make that 52.'" OMG YOU'RE SO AWESOME AND HOTT, WHAT A BADASS. CAN I SLEEP WITH YOU!?! Really?! Is this guy for real!? No wonder this Facebook friend is single.


To be continued...