Awkward things about the gym

1. Attempting to breathe on the treadmill without sounding like you have asthma. 

2. The guy exaggerating his 20 minute elliptical workout with grunts and uncomfortable eye contact.

3. Swamp ass.

4. Frantically decreasing level or speed because you're about to pass out.

5. Can't find the seat adjuster. Pretend you moved it and look like an idiot.

6. The guy that doesn't clean off the machine.

7. Losing your breath lip syncing a song.

8. The chick that overpaid for a bald guy to "train" her aka text and count out loud. 

9. The reader. How can you read at a time like this?

10. The smell of sweaty balls and bleach.

-EAF.